On Wedding Planning

I can't sleep therefore I blog. 




In four days, I'll pack my suitcase and fly to Seattle.  I'll do it by myself.  I'll do it carrying my wedding dress on board, using my saddest eyes to convince the flight attendants to hang it up in 1st class. I'll arrive in my city, gaze at my mountain, and then go get my marriage license. 

I'm getting married in 12 days.




Don't misunderstand me though: I'm not freaking out.  I'm not worried and I'm not scared.  But, I can't sleep and that's probably normal for right now.  I lay in bed and type, two snoring dogs on each side of me, the house double locked, while my love sleeps in Iowa tonight.  We are getting married in 12 days and after that we are going to Jackson for our honeymoon, and after that we will pack up our house and move back to Seattle. 


Life is moving quickly, and yet, I am awake, the minutes dragging on. 




My little blog has been neglected lately.  You surely can understand why, but still, I feel guilty.  This month is a blur and it's too bad I wasn't able to document it. 

We went to Little Buffalo one Friday afternoon when I didn't have to work.  We watched Lilly chase sticks into the water while we ate on a picnic table.  She drank too much water and did a number to her cage, which I purposely don't have a picture of (but K does because he cleaned it up.) 

My garden has been on its own this Summer.  No dahlias or tomatoes like last year.  But lots of beets, peppers, and leeks.  It feels more organic than last year because it took its own shape. 



There, you're caught up.






I was laying here in the dark unable to sleep, blogging in my head.  Thinking about the last year and a half and how fast it went by.  And how different our original wedding was.  I started bolding points in my head and decided I better just turn the light on and sit up instead. 


On planning a wedding.   Here's what I've learned.


Shit, now I can't think of anything.

Savor it.     Get engaged and let it be just you two for awhile.  Hold hands, talk about what the moment was like, dream a little, and just in that engagement air.  Don't tell anyone, just soak it in.   Don't settle right away.  Life will speed up for awhile and it will seem like decisions must be made right away.  But they don't. 

No seriously, savor it.  Stay in the restaurant a little longer, spend a couple of days even without telling anyone.  There is a small window from engaged to planning a wedding. 


Don't be afraid to slip a priest a gift certificate to Olive Garden.  It helps you get the church you want and a lower price. 

This may sound awful, but Let people celebrate you before you start celebrating them.  Our problem was we started thanking people right off of the bat, before they did anything.  That lowered the bar as far as expectations.  It puts everyone in the same category.  Celebrate the people who are actually helping and who are there from the get go, its better for everyone that way. 

Think of the location. I love dahlias.  I love their shape and their texture.  I love how there are so many varieties.  I love how they look at Pike Place.  I love them so much I googled "dahlia farm in Washington" and found my wedding flowers.  I knew that dahlias grew so well out there and that there must be a farm.  And that the farm must have low cost flowers.  Mine will be $1 a stem. 

Take a chance on the good stuff.  Our venue seemed too fancy, therefore we thought too pricey.  But, the food is the best in town and you don't have to rent anything.  And they're professionals so you don't have to hire a wedding planner.  And the place is unique and beautiful.  So, we almost lost out because we were judging a book by its cover. 

Choose places that are meaningful to you two.  The church where I went during our long distance relationship.  It is the holiest place I've been to.  Our caterer represents several events in our dating life.  The hotel we're staying at has the best views of the city where I left my heart.  These locations automatically infuse personality and meaning into our wedding.  We don't have to monogram everything because our stamp is already there. 

Keep a record.  Of every piece of stationary.  Every little event that happened.  Every good idea and bad idea.  Buy a box and fill it with all of the memories. 

Expect things to change.  Especially with a longer engagement.  If you get engaged and then married nine months later, things won't have time to change.  But, if you savor and take your time (which you should), then things definitely will.  And that's okay.  There is good change in it all.  This is about moving on with your life and starting on with a new chapter.  Some people like the chapter you're in and some people are curious to see what's ahead.  We joke that our wedding party has been like Survivor.  Some people have left but others have joined, and that's worth all of the change. 

Take several breaks.  Whether you're burned out or you just got burned, step away from it all for awhile.  Go back to dating for a little bit.  I've never thought of myself as a bride, or necessarily as a fiancee.  I'm me and I'll always be that and I'm not defined just by this period in my life.  So, I took a month off here and there, took more pictures of my dog and my backyard, and didn't worry about fitting into a wedding dress. 

Know that there will be disappointments, but there will also be pretty amazing moments.  Sure, things haven't gone how we planned and there have been times that were pretty tough.  But, there are people around us who have been extraordinary and that shuts all of the disappointments out. 

Hold on tight to the ones you love. 



And show them the love.

Keep it all in perspective.  Yeah, there have been ups and downs.  Yeah the food is going to be amazing.  Yeah it'll be the best day of my life.  But, I'm really in this for the marriage.  That's the important part. 



Don't say "I'm marrying my best friend."  That's lame. 

I'm going to blog one more time before I leave.  I'm going to write about what its like in these last single days.  With the dogs.