I woke up ridiculously early today in order to get in line before the lab opened. Way too many of us had to tape a skill today and everyone knew that everyone was going to be there early. I felt like I should have packed a cooler and a lawn chair. Most people wait in lines for cool stuff (or, not technically "cool" stuff.....because how cool are you if you're 25 and waiting in line for Harry Potter?) and then they get something that makes the rest of their day. No, it's not like that in the world of nursing school. You wait in line knowing that the odds are against you and you'll probably have to wait in line again. No cool gadget, no video game, no 2 hours of movie and popcorn. No t-shirt that says "I waited in line for lab and all I got was this stinkin tshirt." Just more stress, more waiting, more wondering just what you'll be doing this time next year.
Life really is put on hold during nursing school. Next week is the big 2-5, and I'm not really excited. I don't have room or time for excitement. Life is going by so quickly and so horribly slow at the same time. Plus, half of my birthday will be spent at a psych hospital, so there's that going for me. Usually, I have mediocre birthdays, which is fine and i've accepted it at this point. The best birthday that I had was when it was up to me to celebrate it. I was living in Seattle, freshly 21, the whole day ahead of me because everyone was working. I started my day off with a coffee cake and drink from Starbucks, put a candle in the cake (it was green too, so everything matched nicely), and made a wish. I don't know what I wished for, but I'm sure it came true. The day was then filled with Pike Place Market with Katie and lunch at Ivars. Very. Good. Birthday.
So what do I want for my birthday? Good food, sunshine, flowers, exercise, relaxation. That's it. I don't care about cake or balloons or presents. I just want a good day. It can be ordinary, I don't care.
Anyways, back to the stress that is nursing school. Yesterday everything really got to me and I was just unable to clear my head. I took a nap, ate comfort food, finished my work so it would be off my mind, took a bath, nothing worked. It got to the point where I was like, "Screw it, let's try meditating." Because that's all I had left. I sat up right on the bed, layed my arms over my knees, and thought "I will pass" over and over and over and over again.
The pup took this as a que to play. She threw a rubber bone in my lap, then picked it up and tried to hook it onto the front of my shirt. When that didn't work, she rolled around all over me, making that little piggy noise that she makes. Meditating was not really working. So I gave in, I rolled around on the bed with her, rubbed her delicious little black ears, and still, my mind was clogged. I layed down, she stopped what she was doing, and........she licked my face.
This dog does not do that. Maybe to K because she loves him more than anything else in the world, but NEVER to me. She licked and licked and then layed down and put her paw in my hand.
And that did it.
This is why I love dogs. They get it, they know what you're feeling. And despite all the times where I've unsuccessfully taught her a new trick, all the times that she ran away from me and tackled the neighbor, all of the towels and pillow corners that she has consumed in her short life, THIS time, she knew exactly what to do.
So here I am today, lab finished, waiting for class, a weight lifted off of me, eager to go home and reward that (Lab) puppy with a good run, and show her just how much I care too.
She was so flippin cute!
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