I didn't plan on writing tonight. I'm not sure what I'm going to write about. I just have the desire to write.
And, it's not like I have the most ideal writing environment right now. I'm sitting on a worn chaise lounge, in front of the television which is blaring the Oscars, slightly bloated from too much popcorn and definitely too much ice cream. All of the lamps are on and I swear I'm going to punch someone if Anne Hathaway keeps talking. It's an overstimulated environment.
But, I long to write. Something.
It's a new goal of mine to write for an hour every single day. Maybe it'll be on here. Maybe it will be in a hidden journal that is intended just for me. Or, maybe it'll just be for practice.
Okay, Randy Newman's on now. Definitely not adding to the environment.
We've really been struggling lately because there has been such a dramatic change in our time together. K is student teaching, then planning, and then sleeping. It's not his fault. It's not his intention. It's tough though, and I'm not going to lie about that. I hate it. I've been stomping my feet and pouting my lip and making it known that I don't like this one little bit.
So, we made a schedule. A weekly schedule of our obligations--to our work and to each other.
It's not ideal, but it's necessary.
I also need to make my own weekly schedule. The work that I need to do will focus on interpersonal growth, and making money.
I told myself today, out loud, "I'm going to find a job this week."
I'm serious too. That's my goal for the week.
But, part of me is understanding that I can take this time in my life and make it what I want to be. Maybe its suppose to be this way right now. Maybe I'm suppose to have time off and really think about what I want to do. Not necessarily long term, but in the everyday.
K's busy right now, and I'm not. I need to stop throwing tantrums and start embracing this gift of life.
This is truly the time, when I should ask myself: what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
This week, I'm going to stick to our schedule.
And I'm also going to create my own.
I'm going to wake up early.
I'm going to exercise.
I'm going to play hard with the puppy.
I'm going to cook great things.
I'm going to get the yard ready.
I'm going to start spring cleaning.
I'm going to write for an hour everyday.
I'm going to find my job.
I'm going to read some fantastic books.
I'm going to make a Spring List.
I'm going to be thankful.
I'm going to show love.
I'm going to be happy.
I'm going to finally conquer what I intended to last month.